It has been brought to the attention of the board of directors of our company that some employees have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation with customers. Due to complaints from some of our customers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated.
The board of directors does, however, realize the importance of each person being able to express their feelings when communicating with their fellow colleagues and customers. Therefore, the board of directors has compiled the following coded list. It is imperative that all employees understand and memorize these codes so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue.
* No fucking way! - I'm not certain the board will agree
* Tell someone who gives a fuck - Perhaps you should check with...
* Ask me if I give a fuck - Of course I'm concerned
* It's not my fucking problem - I wasn't involved in that commission
* What the fuck...? - Interesting behavior
* Fuck it, it won't work - I'm not sure I can implement this
* Why the fuck didn't they tell me sooner? - I'll try to schedule that
* Who the fuck cares? - Are you sure it's our problem?
* He's got his head up his ass - He's not familiar with the problem
* You've got to be shitting me - Really?
* Eat shit - You don't say?
* Eat shit and die - Excuse me?
* Eat shit and die, motherfucker - Excuse me, sir?
* What the fuck do they want from life? - The board wasn't happy with it
* Kiss my ass - So you'd like my help with this?
* Shove it up your ass - I don't think you understand
* This job sucks - I love a challenge
* Who the hell died and made you chairman of the board? - You want me to take care of this?
* Blow me - I see
* Blow yourself - Do you see?
* Another fucking meeting - Yes, please let us discuss this
* I don't really give a shit - I don't think it will be a problem
* He's fucking retarded - He's confused
* Who gives a fuck? - That's nice
* Dream on, dumb fuck! - We'll get back to you on that