Jack Schitt is the son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate married Oh Schitt, the owner of he Kneedeep Schitt Inn.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced six children.
Holy Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after birth.
Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Then came Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt and another son Bull Schitt.
Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt; a high school drop out.
Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, Horace Schitt and Eat Schitt.
Bull Schitt just married a spicy number Pisa Schitt and they are awaiting the arrival of Little Schitt.
So, the next time someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt" you can tell them the whole story of Jack Schitt.